Sunday February 9, 2020
I read a quote this morning that said “You were someone before you were their mom, and that person matters.” Mamas, did that hit you like it did me? My kids are my world, literally my entire world, I do everything in life for them. I think that’s the point, what about me? What about you?
Now don’t get me wrong, I love my kids more than anything and I am SO thankful to be their mama. My life has changed in the best way possible since finding out I was pregnant with Ellie. At first, I was worried and afraid... but now I look back and realize how motivated she made me, how strong I am because of those two.
If you’ve followed my story over the last several years and have listened to my podcast then you know that every other weekend I am kid free. My husband also works 12 hour shifts on the same weekends so really, I am alone.
These weekends are always difficult for me because I hate being by myself. I usually end up working. Which if you know me, you know I absolutely LOVE what I do, like love love. When the kids leave for the two days and my husband goes to work in the morning, I usually imagine myself getting SO MUCH done with all of my “free time” or “me time.” When usually it’s the exact opposite. Most of the time I sit there frozen and wonder, am I just a mom and a girl boss? Am I something more than that? What are my hobbies? What brings me joy outside of my family and working? Both of those bring me SO.MUCH.JOY that I usually don’t think of anything else.
People say that “I am so lucky” to get the time to myself, I hate that. I don’t feel lucky to be without my kids, I want to be spending that time together making memories. Lately I have been trying to look at my alone time as an opportunity to prepare for the week ahead. Get the laundry done, go to the grocery store, work a little extra so I can be present in the evenings when everyone is home. I also realize that I like to write, I love to read, fresh air and a walk with Luna (our husky) makes me feel good. I realize that sometimes my version of “doing nothing” is actually what I need most. To let go of the guilt of not doing enough, recognizing that I don’t need to be “busy” all the time, take time for MYSELF so I can be the best version of ME when my family comes home.
Mamas, I encourage you to ask yourself the following questions:
What are your hobbies?
What do you enjoy doing?
Do you get “free time?”
If not, when could you fit it in? Who could watch the kids?
I think in today’s world, if we aren’t doing EVERYTHING then we feel like we aren’t doing ANYTHING. I hate the words “busy” and “hustle” they make me think of stress and anxiety. I don’t know about you but for me, this year is about taking things off my plate to spend more time with my family but to also put myself first.
I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
xoxo Nicole J